{hinduloka} $title={Table of Content} Mental maturity and Adult Behavior
Maturity is accepting what is, willing to change what can happen and let go of what cannot. 

It is reconciling with yourself, by agreeing to follow reason, acknowledging emotions and relying on your own experiences. Adults free themselves from the compulsions of their past and future anxieties, living in the present and acting spontaneously. They cultivate a balanced outlook on life by releasing their minds from things and hopes and enjoying life as it is. 

From physical appearance and body signs, we can distinguish whether a person has matured physically and reached maturity. By just looking at a person, we can estimate his or her age. Almost everyone reaches physical maturity after a certain age, with little variation. However, mental growth does not happen in the same way. Some people reach mental maturity at an early age, while some take time. Due to various internal and external factors, some may not grow mentally even after they reach middle age. Potentially we can continue to grow mentally to the end, depending on our personal interests, and habits. Our brain cells stop multiplying after a certain age, but that does not stop our mental growth. In the short span of life we ​​live here, it is impossible to know everything. However, even in that limited time span, there is practically no limit to what you can learn and choose to learn. You can keep learning as long as you care, and as long as you keep learning, you can keep growing mentally.

Mental growth and mental maturity are not the same. Therefore, mental growth by itself does not guarantee mental maturity. A person may have a lot of knowledge and solve many complex problems and puzzles, but in his personal life may show a lack of maturity and childish behavior. Mental growth refers to the overall development of various mental abilities, while maturity refers to the use of reason, objectivity, and common sense in thinking and behaving. It also refers to self -control, rationality, and emotional maturity. Maturity comes from the use of higher mental abilities and having control over the basic instincts of human behavior.

Some people reach mental maturity at an early age, while others remain immature even after they become adults. It is difficult to find people who are always mature and fully mature. Sometimes, everyone retreats into childish or childish behavior. Depending on their education and other factors, people show different levels of maturity at different times. For example, the same person who shows a lot of maturity in his thoughts and behavior in front of his co -workers at work can act like a teenager in front of his friends and family when he is open in front of them and feels comfortable with his hidden nature. Due to social pressure, some people cover up their true nature in public and act differently. Thus,

What is maturity?

Maturity does not necessarily increase with age. It arises from thought, knowledge, perception, understanding, analysis, wisdom and becomes practical and realistic. Mature people rely on their own perceptions and experiences in assessing truths and situations. He keeps his mind free of illusions, unrealistic assumptions and irrational beliefs. 

Maturity develops to the extent that we regulate our consciousness, according to our experiences and perceptions, and to the extent that we keep our minds free of irrational thoughts, beliefs, prejudices, ideas, and emotions, which we accumulate because of the mental filters we create. Nor is there a consistent correlation between physical growth and mental maturity. Sometimes a young adult may show more maturity than an adult. Two people in the same age group may also have different levels of maturity. Because, mental maturity arises from many factors such as age, awareness, intelligence, education and upbringing. Because they differ from individual to individual, people differ in their level of maturity.

In a general sense, maturity means complete, physical and mental growth, or a state of adulthood. It is the ability to act rationally and realistically, not emotionally and irrationally. From a behavioral perspective, becoming an adult means the following.
  • Be realistic, relate to facts and be guided by facts.
  • Accept responsibility for his own actions and behavior.
  • Willing to analyze and verify a person's beliefs, prejudices, and assumptions about his or her own facts and experiences, and to change one's thinking, awareness, judgment, behavior, and understanding accordingly,
  • Guided by intellect rather than emotion, with the ability to distinguish the differences between the two and at the same time accommodate one's feelings and emotions accurately and intelligently in one's life.
  • Be assertive, without being aggressive; be friendly without selfishness; to disagree, without being insensitive; to ask, without fear of rejection; and act, without fear or anxiety.
  • Be flexible and open -minded, instead of rigid and judgmental; to accept new experiences and new people; and willing to learn new skills and acquire new knowledge.
  • Be curious, inquisitive and exploratory, looking for answers, gathering information, and weighing options, before reaching conclusions.
  • Open -minded, free from mental conditioning, and act spontaneously in accordance with the reality of the situation, without prejudice and prejudice, without compulsion to be perfect or right and without engaging in habitual actions and responses.
  • To relate to the current or present reality and learn from it.
  • To know what is possible and achievable according to the situation, and to accept the limitations.

Who is an adult?
  • Related to the facts.
  • Go with personal experience rather than confidence.
  • Depends on the reason rather than the emotion.
  • Think before you act.
  • Use resources wisely, in accordance with the needs and demands of a realistic situation
  • Weigh each situation carefully, before drawing conclusions
  • Live in the present.
  • Open -minded, willing to learn and explore other possibilities, perspectives and alternatives.
  • know the limits
  • Flexible.
  • Spontaneous.
  • Have a healthy self -image and sense of self.
  • Make practical decisions, according to the situation.
  • Know how to deal with anxiety, fear and worry.
  • Believe in human dignity. Respect yourself and others.
  • Listen, pay attention, and learn from experience.

Here are some helpful ways to turn mental maturity into your life guiding force.

1. Be Realistic

The mind of a mature person is exploratory, simple, and rooted in reality. To develop your mind in that mold, you must be sensitive and responsive to the reality around you. 

You may be daydreaming, have difficult plans and goals, may be driven by idealism in some aspects of your life rather than pragmatism, and may even accept some assumptions about you or your life as the basis of your beliefs and actions. 

All of that is acceptable as long as you rationally know what you can and cannot do, and know the difference between reality and illusion. In other words, you should rely primarily on reason, and facts, rather than assumptions and beliefs. 

When you have to follow your assumptions because you do not have the correct facts or information, you can do so, but with the understanding that your conclusions may not be final. Most importantly, you must focus on the facts and think rationally. By staying in touch with reality and controlling your thoughts and emotions, you will keep the adults within you active, responsive, and responsible, and control your immature responses and reactions in critical situations.


2. Control your emotions and irrational thoughts

 
You may have noticed from experience that knowledge and education themselves do not guarantee mental or emotional maturity. Whether you are educated or not, sometimes you definitely experience emotional and mental instability. When you are emotionally disturbed, you will inevitably lose control of your thoughts, actions, and reactions. 

One practical way to deal with your emotional and irrational behaviors is to examine your past beliefs and assumptions, in the context of your current knowledge and experience and discard those that do not stand the test. 
You can do this by preparing a list of your beliefs and assumptions and validating them with facts.

Other important ways to develop rationality are, not accepting opinions blindly, finding logical errors in your thinking, seeking evidence and validation, asking questions, challenging opinions, not falling to the surface of opinion, using experience, being yourself, seeking information. , and challenge your beliefs and assumptions that underlie your decisions and conclusions.

3. Curious and open -minded


In addition to children, we also have a parental component embedded in our consciousness. It is a remnant of the past, inherited by us from our parents and authority figures. When you are young, it may help you understand the world, and guide your actions and behaviors in ways that are socially acceptable and find approval and appreciation. However, because most people in their childhood accept their parents' orders without questioning them, it becomes an unchecked part of your consciousness and your inner parents. Because it is made from your childhood memories, your inner parents would rather control and dictate than listen. 

Because it regulates your thoughts and behaviors from within, you become judgmental and judgmental in your thoughts and act in accordance with your beliefs and prejudices that are rooted in your current reality. In some cases, inner parents push adults into the background and take control of where they become rigid and inflexible and develop an all -knowing attitude.

People, where the parental part is strong, live rigidly, and place a high value on obedience, loyalty, attention and respect from others. They prefer peace over risk and convention over freedom. They move in familiar circles, visit familiar places, deal with their own kind, and show a great reluctance to forge new relationships or experiment with new ideas. They also tend to advise, rather than listen, and criticize, rather than appreciate. They hate criticism and avoid people who disagree with them. They are also offended by ideas and people that seem to threaten their lifestyles and the values ​​they uphold.

If you let your inner parents dominate your thoughts, you will play on all the associated qualities and act like them. You will be judgmental, closed -minded, and assertive in your thoughts and attitudes. Because your parents also make your s elf-talk negative and unbearable, you suffer from guilt and inferiority. 
Therefore, you cannot let the parents within you control and regulate your life, unless you prefer to revive their lives and values ​​and ignore your current reality. You may use some of those aspects, but you cannot give them full control. Instead, you should allow adults to take responsibility and organize your life because adults are open -minded, curious, and rational.

4. Understand your emotions


Our emotions have a life of their own, or so it seems. Although we are rational, in difficult and critical situations we become emotional and even irrational. Emotions take time to subside, due to various biological, physiological factors, and the changes they cause in our bodies. 

Pressing them forcibly can also cause many mental and emotional problems. Therefore, when emotions arise, at first there is not much we can do other than try to observe and understand them. Emotions add color and drama to our lives, in addition to helping us survive. They help us understand the changes in our environment and understand the situation. Therefore, suppressing them is not a good strategy.

The best way to deal with your emotions is to pay attention and become familiar with them, by knowing what is causing them and how they go up and down. Once you get used to their mechanisms, you can let them express themselves without disturbing your inner balance. 

This is a mature way to manage your emotions and eliminate their destructive energy. Accept your emotions without feeling guilty and observe to find out the underlying causes and purposes so you can manage and control them.

5. Be in the present


Our lives are precious, and every moment is precious. What appears to be a union between birth and death is actually a series of moments, one following the other. 

Real -time continuity is an illusion. Each moment is separate and complete by itself, even though we do not see it because of our beliefs and conditioning. If we remember it and persevere in that moment, we can control our emotions and think rationally. When we are immersed in thoughts of the past and the future, we become emotional and suffer from worries and anxieties. Today offers us a great opportunity to return to reality and free ourselves from such thoughts.

When we are stuck in the momentum of life, we need to slow down, pause, take a deep breath and look around. At such moments, we can experience relief and regain our inner peace and balance. At such moments, we realize the importance of being and feeling alive. As we become busier and more stressed, we lose control of our emotions. Small things can weigh on our minds and upset us. The best way to recover from it is to go back to the moment and let reality permeate.

We do not have to always be immersed in the present moment because we have to chase the world and live our lives normally. However, you can go back there whenever you feel lost in the drama of life and need to recharge yourself mentally and emotionally. 

When you are in the present, you experience peace and think rationally according to the situation. You see the world and people clearly, respond to situations correctly, avoid making mistakes, and be efficient and effective. 

With your emotions under control, you also learn to evaluate problems and situations realistically, finding solutions to your problems based on your observations, not your fears and expectations. Therefore, when you perform important tasks, stay with the current and flow with events. Pay attention to your own emotions, thoughts, and feelings as you perform daily tasks, open your eyes to the current reality.

6. Non -Adhesion Training


Non-attachment means remaining mentally free of people and objects, without responding or reacting to their presence or absence. Most of our suffering in life arises from our attachment, which in turn leads to an attraction and aversion to objects and people. 

You are happy when you are united with the things you love, and unhappy when you are separated from them. Thus, your attachment makes you subject to the duality of pleasure and pain. You cannot run away from them until you develop non -attachment.

By practicing release, you regain your inner freedom, overcome your sense of dependence on things, and experience inner peace and stability, which in turn helps you face the world objectively and rationally. When you free your mind from the attractions and distractions of life, you accept everything as it is, without judgment, emotion, and desire. Your awareness and understanding of the world and people increases, as does your insight and intuition.

We are not only tied to worldly things, but also to the idea of ​​success and failure. When we live with hope and take action with attention to results, we will inevitably experience disappointment and frustration, because we have no control over every aspect of our lives and we cannot save anything forever. If there is one strong justification for practicing non -attachment, it is the impermanence of the world. 

Therefore, it is wiser to focus on what you can control and do within your ability, rather than what you might gain or lose from it. 

In short, don't be distracted by the presence or absence of things, or the advantages and disadvantages. Adapt yourself to the situation and make the most of whatever life has to offer you.